Between the extremes of independence and codependence, achieving interdependence in relationships requires the combination of a secure sense of self, and a connected sense of oneness.
You can look to spirituality and even quantum physics to learn about the pervasive connection between all things, but a grounded sense of security, rooted within yourself, takes some introspection and personal refinement.
First, allow me to state that personal development is not about being a better You, but being You better; the idea is to be more truly yourself. The more rooted you become in yourself, the more security you will find from within, and the less you will rely on external sources of validation – which tend to come and go, and trigger a sense of insecurity.
Essential matters of reflection for your journey of distillation include developing an awareness around certain aspects of your life, such as patterns that play out on repeat; habits of seeking external validation; facets of yourself that you’ve abandoned and denied, and ways you might reframe those assessments in a more loving manner; and your fears around judgment.
It’s also vital to perform an honest assessment of your needs and values, and an examination of their myriad means of fulfillment; to let go of expectations, and foster a practice of acceptance that both expands and honors boundaries; to release attachments, and hold space for blessed impermanence; and to end your battle with indecision, by swearing a commitment to seek expansion amidst life’s challenges.
And of fundamental importance, is the ongoing cultivation of a robust support system; the routine evaluation of your beliefs; the regular maintenance of balance; and the constant infusion of gratitude for your experiences, and faith in your journey.
In all interactions, when expansive growth is your goal, you will have already succeeded; and when compassionate authenticity is your modus operandi, you will discover the depths of intimacy.