Compromise on Strategies, not Needs.
Relationships are hard. Whether they’re romantic, professional, familial, or friendly, relating to other humans gets messy.
Maybe your mess looks like a broken-record fight about the dishes, or it feels like they never listen! Perhaps your struggle is asking for what you need at work, or you might be feeling like your partner doesn’t make enough time for you.
As humans, we all have needs – core requirements for wellbeing, like safety, belonging, and expression, as well as respect, consideration, and validation, and so much more. We also need people around us whom we can rely on to share the burdens of life and work, to help us uphold our values, and to make an effort to understand our perspective.
But when needs clash, conflict can arise, and most of us weren’t given the handbook for navigating those rough waters.
Did you know that all behavior is a strategy for getting our needs met?
People often talk about the importance of compromise in relationships, while some people insist that one should never compromise. But what exactly is on the table here?
It’s crucial to have clarity on that – and it’s helpful to understand that most people confuse strategies for needs. My professional opinion: compromise on strategies, and never on needs.
Win-Win or bust!
In a relationship, win-lose is really lose-lose. When we learn how to combine Empathy, Nonjudgment, and Personal Responsibility, we can get creative to find a win-win solution where everyone’s needs get met.
Can you imagine??
Bringing grievances or needs to someone with the balanced awareness of your own experience as well as theirs is the BEST way to find a path forward, together.
Lasting change
Chances are, you’ve been communicating a certain way for a pretty long time, and changing that isn’t going to be easy.
But you can’t break out of your patterns simply by doing things differently. You have to transform the BEING you’re doing FROM.
Fair warning: this is inherently UNCOMFORTABLE AF. The only way out is through – and it’s totally worth it.
The role of a Transformational Coach (such as myself) is to serve as a mirror for your blind spots, and show you what needs to be loved.
Hi, I’m Love Coach Mariya
I am on a sacred quest to empower compassion in as many beings as I can, so we can all live in a more loving world.
So far, I’ve helped hundreds of people do just that, and it would be an honor and a pleasure to be the mirror that guides you to your Authentic Alignment.
“From just one session, I was able to break a pattern of mine that kept ending relationships over an issue that kept coming up. This time, I was finally able to address it with my current partner in a way that brought us closer together instead of breaking us up. I’m so grateful!”
“I’m learning to ask for what I need with more clarity and confidence, without feeling guilty. At the same time, I’m becoming more aware of others’ needs and trying to hold space for them without taking full responsibility for their emotions or outcomes.”
Collaborative Communication Program Details
On this 6 week journey of empowering your communication, you’ll learn how to finally:
- Be heard
- Feel seen, and
- Get your needs met – in a way that also supports your counterpart’s needs.
You could go on feeling frustrated, alienated, and hurt, or…
You can open your relationships up to a generous flow of Love now!
What’s included in Collaborative Communication
> A carefully crafted course, including practical tools, resources, and exercises.
> Six one-on-one personalized coaching sessions.
> A lovingly held container of safety and support.
What’s NOT included:
I will not judge, pressure, or “fix” you. You are a perfectly divine being on an immensely sacred journey.
What’s covered in the Collaborative Communication course
Session 1 – Human Experience
What’s really going on when you need someone to behave differently?
Learn how to identify feelings and needs; meet your need for understanding.
Session 2 – Self-Empathy
What are you feeling and needing in this moment?
Learn how to practice self-empathy; meet your need for validation.
Session 3 – True Empowerment
Where can you find Choice in this situation?
Learn how to steward your emotional experiences; meet your need for autonomy.
Session 4 – Factuality
What’s the truth of the situation?
Learn how to make neutrally objective observations; meet your need for clarity.
Session 5 – Other-Empathy
What feelings and needs are motivating your counterpart’s behavior?
Learn how to empathize without losing yourself; meet your need for connection.
Session 6 – Collaboration
Would you be willing to collaborate on strategies for a win-win on needs?
Learn how to make requests in a way that allows for both parties’ needs to get met.
How it works
- We’ll start with a Connection Call to make sure we resonate and both feel good about working together.
~ - If we’re a go, we’ll settle payment and schedule our first session from that connection call, then I’ll send you an intake form to complete before we meet again, so that we can both be sure to set you up for success.
~ - For each one-on-one coaching session, we’ll start by reflecting on where you’re at and what you’ve learned, then I’ll delve into the next lesson, and we’ll discuss it in relation to you, and how you can put it into practice. Before we close out, we’ll schedule our next call for a time within 1-3 weeks, and afterwards, I’ll send you some extra materials for bonus study.
~ - At the end of it all, you’ll have a whole new set of tools and practices for more Collaborative Communication and more loving relationships, and we can talk about next steps for you and additional options for us :)
~
FAQ
Can we talk first to help me decide if this is a good fit?
Absolutely – I insist :) It’s important that we both feel resonant in working together, so I always start every coaching relationship with a Connection Call.
Can my partner (or colleague, friend, or family member) and I take this course together?
Certainly! You are welcome to share the sessions with anyone you’re working to build stronger communication with.
I’ve already tried All The Things – how will this be any different?
Well, I honestly can’t make any guarantees about your outcomes (’cause those are ultimately on you), but since you’re here, I’m guessing that you’ve only been working on the surface of Doing, and you haven’t experienced Transformational Coaching yet, which focuses on the BEING you’re Doing FROM.
There are so many “life hacks”, “how tos”, and “quick fixes” out there, that we lose sight of where those types of solutions are appropriate and where they’re not. These are handy for learning how to improve upon what you’re already Doing, but they do not help you BECOME something entirely new. Real transformation isn’t well-suited to DIY – it’s too hard to see your own blocks! Yes, anyone CAN change, but it’s a lot easier and faster with a Transformational Coach.
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