The truth is: it’s not about me.
It’s more about you – but it’s even bigger than that…
It’s really about Love, the lifeforce that flows through you and me and the entire Universe.
My work as a coach has three aims:
#3 – For me to be able to contribute to the world in a personally sustainable way that’s aligned with my values.
#2 – To empower your compassion. To unlock the love you feel cut off from, and to nurture your interdependence in relationship.
➽ But the #1 aim is to serve Love. To remove as many blocks as I can to Its bountiful flow in this world, and to create as many connections to It, in as many willing souls as I can reach.
As a lifelong student of personal development, coaching became a natural expression of my passion. And when I discovered Relationship to be the most fertile ground for my deepest inner work, my specialty began to take shape.
It all started with a challenging relationship that I decided to lean into instead of write off as yet another mismatch.
I came to find that everything my intuition was telling me, was counter to everything my friends and the “experts” were saying. It was a lonely road to forge on my own, but that has only fueled my intent to give others the support I didn’t have.
I was with a guy who I knew wasn’t going to meet my needs, but I recognized that this was becoming a pattern for me. So I began to question the validity of those supposed “needs”. What I uncovered beneath all of the ones in question, was a quest for reassurance and validation.
Did I really want to spend my life reliant on others for this? Or could I validate myself?? Sure enough – I CAN! And it’s actually the only way that works. So I set out to learn how to become secure from within, and I’ve gotten really good at it.
I also learned that I’d been abandoning myself in my efforts to prevent abandonment from my partner…(!) Funny thing is, most people would say that the solution was to abandon him.
Now how was THAT going to help me feel unconditionally worthy, if the person my heart had chosen was decidedly not? So I committed to dig into every trigger and let them all reveal to me the ways in which I needed to be loving MYSELF better.
In so doing, I’ve developed a practice of acceptance that goes both ways – as all of our mental operating systems do – and I just keep discovering new parts of both of us (same guy!) to love and to learn to love.
We may still part ways one day – no future is certain – but I made a promise to myself (and to him) to not end things out of bitterness or reactivity. I am certain that doing so would only land me right in the same spot with the next partner, anyway.
In all honesty, I still have plenty of work to do. (And anyone who claims to be done is no teacher for me.)
My goal is to graduate myself out of any misalignment. A transition whose time has come is effortless. If it has to be forced, the lesson is only temporarily bypassed, and it is sure to resume its work in short order. (Of course, after any lesson, there’s always another!)
When any individual of a partnership evolves, it alters the dynamic, so as long as I’m growing (haven’t figured out how to stop), things continue to shift and reshape.
In the end…
There is no end. My story continues to unfold. All life is perpetual evolution, really. The key is to learn how to surf it.
Relationship IS my healing method. It’s my training ground, my mirror, my crucible, and my greatest teacher. I am deeply honored and grateful.
If you’re looking for any other credentials, you won’t find them. My experiences, and the wisdom I’ve gained from pursuing the insights contained within them, don’t fit in a box. And I am certain that yours don’t either.
I don’t pretend to be an idealized human with all the answers. I do offer my authentic self, and a loving space for you to express your authentic self and learn to bring it into your relationships and your whole life.
My approach to life and relationships is rather Buddhist. It’s all about the journey. Life is always going to present challenges and changes. The trick is learning how to surf them.
I don’t make promises of achieving your perfect relationship – because I don’t believe in perfection. What I provide are the tools to navigate your relationships* with grace. (*You always have at least the one relationship with yourself.)
Choosing a love coach is a very personal matter. Find one who resonates with you. If you think I might be the one, let’s have a chat to be sure.
Please note: I won’t do the work for you, and I won’t work with women who don’t exercise personal responsibility. I do respect wherever you’re at on your path, though. When you’re ready, I’ll be here.