Build a Strong Foundation for Love

How strong and balanced is your foundation? Do you find yourself obsessing over your love-life at the expense of your peace of mind?

Did you know that there are NINE whole aspects that make up the foundation of your life? And that when all are attended to and in balance, your love-life will run more smoothly?

Let’s take a look, shall we?

First, there are the aspects that make up who you are:

Mind
Body
Soul

How well are the needs of these pieces of you being cared for?

Are you cultivating your mental acuity and tending to your emotions? Do you get good exercise and plenty of sleep? Are you eating whole healthy foods? Does your soul get the nourishment it needs?

Then, there are the things you do:

Career
Finances
Relationships

Are you nurturing these components of your daily life to grow sustainably into fulfilling endeavors?

Are you building a career that enhances your values? Do you earn, spend, and save in alignment with your true unlimited worth? Are you fostering relationships that create mutual enrichment? Do you practice regular maintenance in all the relationships that are important to you?

And there are also the reasons you do what you do:

Growth
Experiences
Contribution

Are you spending time working towards these ultimate end-goals of yours?

In what ways do you hope to grow in life, and how are you progressing in that arena? What experiences do you plan to get out of life, and what steps are you taking to make these happen? How do you want to contribute in the world, and what are you doing to enhance that?

I bet I got your mind off your love-life for a minute!

These 9 aspects ARE the foundation of your life, and when they are imbalanced, your foundation gets wobbly, which – just like standing on shaky ground – results in insecurity.

A stable foundation and a solid sense of security is crucial for a happy love-life. (Well, a happy LIFE, really.)

In order to stabilize your foundation, it must be balanced. Most people make the mistake of trying to prioritize between these aspects, but your sole priority is maintaining balance among them – because they’re all connected!

Here’s a handy graphic you can use for future reference:

(I use this as a sort-of touchstone to help me zoom out as needed and rebalance my focus.)

Like a spiderweb…

Balance is personal, and will look different for everyone, but you will know you’re out of balance by the experience of substantial snags in one or more of these aspects. The trick, though, is that difficulty in one area is often a symptom of neglect in another area.

When you are having a hard time in one aspect of life, take a look at the others, and start giving more attention to the areas that have been neglected. You will find that the issues in that struggling area begin to magically resolve.

The benefits of this practice are numerous:

When you take a more holistic approach to your life, it has a synergistic effect, and every piece, as well as the whole, will operate more effectively.
It alleviates obsessive ruminating by giving your monkey-mind multiple bones to chew on.
People with balanced foundations feel more secure, and therefore exhibit greater confidence, which is an all-around attractive trait.

Whenever you catch yourself hyper-focusing on one aspect of your life – or even one piece of one aspect – recall the bigger picture. Zoom out and refocus on another area that could use some love.

(Updated March 19, 2021)